Success Vs Failure and the Average Jane

Success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Failure is the lack of success.

Heston Blumenthal admitted that in his pursuit of a successful cooking empire and world famous restaurant, he lost his marriage and it severely impacted his relationship with his children, he wasn't "much of a dad". Is that success? Has he won at life? His bank balance would say so, I guess.

On paper, my failures well out way any successes. By 25 I was bankrupt, divorced, unemployed and living back at home. I think I hurt a lot of people, mostly I learned that I was hopelessly unequipped to handle all of the above at the time.

My aim or purpose since then, while fleetingly getting distracted by delusions of grandeur like owning multiple holiday houses and a jet while having gold plated lattes, has been happiness. That experience, while traumatic, was really useful to point out to me at a really young age that work, career, business and money are really fleeting and while necessary do not wholly offer fulfilment. I needed to relearn this lesson recently after my 5 years in real estate, I didn't say I was a fast learner.

Don't allow set backs to kill your dreams but conversely don't allow your dreams to define you or your happiness.

I'm not about to renounce my worldly possessions and live in a yurt (they don't get good wi-fi and I like showering), I am not saying don't have a plan or work hard,  I am just glad to have this current perspective.

Success, right this moment, is on a micro level.

Writing this blog (while a little hungover)?...Winning

Lamingtons for afternoon tea?...Boo Yah!

Date night with Dave?.....High five

A good, busy day at work?....Bonus

Being organised enough to bring left overs to work for lunch?...Genius

Laughing so hard that I can't form coherent sentences for 15  minutes?...Priceless

Failure allows you to move the goal posts to where ever the hell you like or for a short time, it allows you to take your bat and ball and go home.


Don't let your business card be your autobiography. The world needs people like Steve Jobs and Heston Blumenthal with stubborn single minded purpose and vision, but it also needs its Average Janes who can rock the shit out of their everyday.

White with 1 ?

Sitting on the steps of the Trinity Uniting Church on St Georges Tce in the City, every morning, is my mate. 

He's an older fellow, maybe 60's. He likes to sit on the church steps and read, he goes through about 1 book a day.

To be honest, I am pretty sure that he's homeless, I am assuming he is someone in need. I am not entirely sure what that need is, I don't even know his name. 
I also assume that he is lonely.
I do know that he is from the Pilbara and he thinks that our recent summer was too mild "Didn't even get bloody warm Mate!" he told me.

He got my attention one day last week, because he looked very peaceful. He doesn't have his hand out, he's not asking anyone for anything but he looked like he could do with a good meal.

My mate is not too bad off. He probably isn't even the one most in need. After recent months working in the city, I am certain there are hundreds of people in more dire need and the situation seems to be getting worse on a daily basis. But he caught my eye and because I didn't have to do the awkward "I don't have any change to give" shuffle, or the "I am currently in fear for my life, please don't scream at me" run, for some reason I was more open to giving.


I gave him my banana and asked how he liked his coffee. 

"White with one love, cheers".

It's now a nice morning ritual to bring my mate a coffee, but I have just realised it's high time I introduced myself and found out his name.

P.S He reminds of someone. Someone who once was in a situation where they had no-one and nothing and with the help of others, has a great life now. I wasn't able to help this person then, I didn't know them. So I can do this little bit now.

Keys... Yes please

We are in the Hippo, our 30ft, 3 bed motorhome, a little dented and war wounded after having carted us from New Jersey to Niagra, through Pennsylvania, Carolina and Greogia  to Florida. We had a slight altercation with a metal safety barrier on a freeway in Jersey and we were all  a little worse for wear. Oh... And if anyone asks, it was a massive grizzly. 

We had been freezing our butts off in wintery Niagra, bored shirtless in the middle of "Camouflage, hunting and people of Walmart" America and we arrive in the Florida keys. It is a breath of salty fresh air and so quiet. There is only one place, one state park, you can stay in with a motor home.  It's in Long Key. It's not Key West, it's not restaurants and hotels, its not key lime pie and drunk girls. It's sandy car parks and beach, a throw back to 1960's motels with shell shaped little villas.  It's heaven. Quiet camp spots, right  on the beach. There is no wifi, no tv. We park up, get out our camp chairs, plonk them in the water and chiiiiiiiiilllllllll. Relax,the closest land mass is Mexico. 
Picture it, 
Warm, quiet beach, with no one really around and only a small threat of being stung and bitten from some small jelly fish. We are from Australia, you've got nothing that can kill us.
We are chilled. For 5 days, we do nothing. 
Wake up, coffee, sit on the beach. In the Hippo for nap when it's hot. After lunch we sit on our chairs in the water and stay there until after sunset. Naked frolicking children and the odd jelly fish and kayaker for entertainment followed by a spectacular sunset. 
The only negative was a thing called a "Noseeum" literally "no see them". A little invisible insect that bites like a Mozzie, But, the bite will keep itching days or weeks after you have been bitten every time you sweat or get hot. Resulting in head to toe redness and itchiness. So. God. Damn. Itchy. There is no repellent or cream that works. But it was worth it. We hadn't planned to visit the Florida keys and we saw nothing of the well known Florida keys, but we had our own private beach and our hippo and our family. Yes, I did sing the Beach Boys song "Kokimo" continuously for 5 days and we got to keep our "Noseeum" souvenirs. 



Oh and seriously, the rented camp chairs where already rusty and covered with seaweed, if anyone asks :)

Coffee, one of the most important things in life

Every morning, Dave brings me a coffee in bed. I love coffee, I'm as caffeine addicted as the next person. Buts its not that, its that he takes the time in the morning to make me one. It makes me feel loved and thats a great way to start the day.

On reflection, having coffee with people is pretty much my hobby, and if it was possible to major in Caffeine based meetings and then be paid as an expert coffee companion, then I would be home and hosed. 

There has been, on rare occasions, times where I have met with so many people in one day for coffee in addition to the "love coffee" I get in the morning that I actually have the shakes come evening. I can't say no, and I won't. The conversations had over coffee are my favourite. Honest, funny, anecdotal and therapeutic. There have been other days, darker days, where the coffee with a person has been the highlight of my day, rather than a casual morning interlude.

I come from a family where, an offer of a coffee is second only to "Hello". Not being able to meet my Mum for a coffee is the biggest gap I currently feel. Now, I visit Dad, and we are bonding over coffee too.

I know its not really the coffee,  Its the connection, the fact that in that time, all else is not important, I am enthralled in the stories and observations of my friends. I want to share and I want to laugh. Coffee is the glue that connects people to my life. Now I just have to find some kind of coffee sponsor  and perhaps switch to decaf!